The Pursue of (Life) Partner

Here comes another time of reflection. Months have passed, and with only days left before the New Year, I find myself closer to thirty than twenty. Can we call this the "late twenties"? Ugh, that doesn't sound great.

While everyone around me seems to have found their soulmate, partner, or whatever we call it, I’m still in the same place. Alone, but hopefully not lonely. I’m not quite sure what this post is supposed to be. Maybe it’s just that the weather is putting me in a reflective mood.

From the very beginning of my career, I’ve been looking for a life partner. I’ve tried my hand at flirting (literally) with people I thought might click with me. There were coworkers, strangers I met online (quite brave, huh?), but mostly, it all revolved around my field of work — including this year.

After spending a long time focusing on myself, I decided to challenge myself again and get close to someone. This time, it was someone who had been friendly enough for an introvert like me. Since he showed some green flags, I was straightforward in confirming whether or not he was already taken. And it turned out...he is. LOL.

I don’t feel insecure or anything, but I was disappointed in myself for thinking too far ahead and interpreting his kind gestures as interest. Once again, I’m reminded not to fall in love too quickly.

Am I giving up on my search for love? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll return to focusing on other goals for now. Perhaps my love story won’t be as smooth as my career or academic journey. Maybe deep down, I still don’t feel ready to take on the role of someone’s wife. Whatever the reason, I want to believe that this is the best story God has written for me.

And for those who ask me "When?" or tease me about marriage, please stop. It’s uncomfortable when you don’t know my struggles. Just ask me about something else. How about a Korean oppa, maybe?