Sunday, July 19, 2020

Half Offline

Another storm comes. I am in state of...linglung? Doesn't sound that simple, tho. I was thinking it over and over what is wrong. Maybe how I think. Or how I interract with people. Or I am gaining some new perspective and understanding that I cannot accept yet.

Rasanya seperti ada yang kurang, tapi nggak tau apa.
Ada yang pengen diceritakan, tapi nggak tau mulai darimana.
Ada yang pengen disapa, tapi nggak berani mengawali.
Hidup yang kelihatannya simpel menjadi rumit ketika pikiran berseliweran. Ternyata, yang butuh ditata itu bukan cuma tempat tinggal secara fisik aja. Rumah, atau kamar. Pikiran yang setiap detik menit jamnya digunakan pun perlu ditata. Bukan cleaning but rather organizing.

I might look okay from the cover. Deep down I don't know where am I going. Where is it the place I'm heading? Not really sure. Probably because all feel too comfortable. Atau sebaliknya, all is mess that I don't know where to fix.

Keputusan yang saya ambil adalah mengurangi konsumsi media sosial. I uninstalled instagram. Not logging in via browser. I deactived my twitter account. Good thing is that I got paid regularly so I have no worries in deactived twitter.

It was my biggest move this year. Twitter was my place to rant. A powerful source of info. Be it nationwide or worldwide. But then, here lies the problem.

Infodemic is that it? I'm craving for news, update, information every second. I don't seem to have a power to take a pause. And so: my mind wandering here and there.

I used to love it when I know what's going around. Now it seems to hard to handle. Step by step, going offline. Repurpose what kind of life I want. Rethink what is important for me in this life. Breath. Create my own happiness without depending on possession, materialistic things.

So here it is a new phase: half offline while looking for right direction to live. 

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